Question for anyone who bet against Saturday Night Live‘s “Weekend Update” segment leading with anything other than GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz — what were you thinking?
Smartly, Colin Jost began by saying the House member from Florida “looks like a caricature artist’s drawing of me.” But then the hits started — and kept comin’.
- “[Gaetz] is reportedly under investigation an alleged sexual relationship with an underage girl, because Gaetz believes that only voters should have to show ID.”
- “It’s also being reported that Gaetz may have paid for sex with women he met online. That story has since been confirmed by his whole vibe.”
- “Gaetz then defended himself by releasing this very normal statement — see if any of it sounds suspicious to you: ‘Matt Gaetz has never paid for sex.’ ‘Matt Gaetz has never ever been on any such websites whatsoever.’ ‘Matt Gaetz cherishes the relationships in his past and looks forward to marrying the love of his life.’ Here’s my response statement: ‘Colin Jost does not believe you.’ ‘Colin Jost thinks you have been to alllll the websites.’ And ‘Colin Jost thinks you should hold off on sending out those wedding invites.’
Michael Che then did a couple of Biden jokes, but when the camera returned to Jost, there was a graphic over his shoulder of Gaetz and the QAnon logo.
“And if I could get back to Matt Gaetz for a minute…” he said, pausing for the laugh. “Here’s the craziest part of this story to me: A sitting congressman is being accused of child trafficking, and the QAnon people are suddenly like, ‘Nah, I need more evidence.’ That was your whole thing! I mean, c’mon, think about it: Gaetz’s girlfriend, she was allegedly 17. The 17th letter is Q. It all adds up.”
Jost continued: “What are you waiting for? The storm is finally here, and QAnon is like, ‘You can’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”
The topic later turned to another toxic subject: Covid-19 — specifically the vaccines that are giving hope to many.
“Fifteen million doses of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine have been delayed following an ingredient mixup at the factory,” Jost reported. As a bottle of the “no more tears” baby shampoo hit the screen, he added, “But the good news is, now your shampoo might cure Covid.”
And just you thought you’d hear the last about a certain Florida Man on “Weekend Update,” Jost said: Pfizer also said that its Covid vaccine is safe and effective for teens age 12-15. ‘Well, that’s a relief,’ said Matt Gaetz.”
Watch part of the fake-news segment here:
Tonight’s Update! pic.twitter.com/3xHekPlnRG
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) April 4, 2021