A tweet has gone viral after encouraging women in cis-het relationships to give children their surnames rather than their male partner’s.
Lawyer Dr Charlotte Proudman tweeted her views earlier this week, and it has since seen over 33,000 likes and over 4.3million views.
“A message to pregnant women — please give the baby your surname. You carried a baby for nine months, gave birth, and will be responsible for that child for the rest of your life. When you’re registering the baby ask yourself: why is the father’s surname more important than yours?” Dr Proudman wrote.
It quickly received hundreds of comments, many in support, many with women saying they wish they’d done exactly this, some naysayers, and others saying they gave their kids double-barrelled names to solve the problem.
Twitter content
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
In the UK, almost 90% of straight married women take their husband’s surname, and this is generally the name passed onto any offspring they may have.
British parents can give their child any forename and surname they wish, as English law places no restrictions as to what surname may be registered for a child. Parents can also change a child’s surname after the birth certificate has been issued, either if they are both in agreement, or if the parent who has sole custody decides to do so.
Dr Proudman says she wrote the tweet as she represents many women in the family courts who tell her that they were coerced into giving their children their father’s surname.
“Or they’ve told me that they regret giving their child the father’s surname,” she tells GLAMOUR. “Some have even tried to change their child’s surname through the family courts but have had their application refused.
“It made me think, ‘why aren’t women giving their babies their surnames?’ After all, we’ve grown a baby for nine months, gone through the pain of giving life to the baby and then we arrive at a registration office and give the baby the father’s surname. Why? For centuries children have been given the man’s surname, it’s time to redress gender inequality – rebalance – and give babies our names.”
Dr Proudman says that alternatives such as double-barrelled names are often seen as a ‘compromise’, meaning the father has ‘allowed’ their child to have part of the mother’s identity.
“Let’s stop compromising and put our maternal identity first,” she adds. “I changed my name. I was given my father’s surname when I was born, something I obviously had no choice in, and I always wanted to have my mum’s surname.
“When I was in my early 20s I took the decision to change my surname to ‘Proudman’ which is my maternal grandmother’s surname, a proud suffragette. Now my family has the same surname and it’s our name. What’s in a name you ask? Our identity.”